


As Sweet

by RowynSN



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Overthinking, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-10 09:05:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12295914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RowynSN/pseuds/RowynSN
Summary: Morgana pines.





	As Sweet

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shaggydogstail](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shaggydogstail/gifts).



> Thank you annathecrow for betaing even though it was relatively last minute. 
> 
> I hope you like this shaggydogstail! :) I tried to incorporate several of your prompts/likes, and hopefully I succeeded in making this something that you'll love.

Despite Gwen’s questioning, Morgana couldn’t say what she was thinking. If she did, she would have confessed to Gwen that, in this moment, she was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen. The light from the window illuminated her in its golden glow, and it made her every feature seem like a painting: golden and delicate. They were sitting close together on Morgana’s bed, inches away. Despite her best efforts, she couldn’t stop herself from looking down at Gwen’s lips. Were they as sweet as they looked?

“Did you hear me?” Gwen asked.

Morgana blinked. How long had she been staring? “Sorry, I’ve been so distracted lately.”

Gwen hummed. “Is it because of Arthur?”

It wasn’t. But Morgana wasn’t going to proclaim that she was in love with her.

“Yes, he’s been particularly irritating recently.” That wasn’t a lie, Arthur had been particularly moody.

With a nod of her head, Gwen said, “He's been getting on Merlin’s nerves as well. I’m sure he’ll feel better soon enough.” Gwen smiled, soft and sweet. The smile made she something in Morgana’s stomach swirl, and the urge to kiss Gwen became overwhelming.

Morgana cleared her throat. “I’m a bit tired, would you mind if I went to sleep?”

Gwen nodded and smoothed down the top blanket as if she were trying to fix it. A nervous tick? But what did Gwen have to be nervous about?

“I’m just tired - that’s all.”

Another nod, lips tight. “It’s alright. I understand.”

Morgana didn’t think she did, but remained silent. What could she say? Words and thoughts seemed to clutter in her mind. How did she normally act around Gwen? When did everything start becoming so strange?

“Goodnight,” Gwen said before she left. The door clicked shut and the stillness was as deafening as the silence.

If these feelings kept up, would she lose Gwen?

The thought was terrifying; a sharp pain in her gut, her thoughts circling endlessly with no sign of stopping. This wasn’t normal. Gwen was going to hate her if she found out. Leave her. And Morgana wouldn’t be able to stop it: just as much as she couldn’t stop her attraction and love for Gwen.

Morgana closed her curtains and tried to sleep, but her arms felt too empty. While she wished for many things, Morgana longed the most for Gwen to still be here. Loving her, just as Morgana loved her.

* * *

After that night, if even possible, Morgana became even more awkward around Gwen. Words didn’t seem to come as easily as before. Nor did being in her presence for more than an hour. She tried to get over her feelings, but couldn’t. Not when Gwen smiled like _that_.  

Gwen thought that she was angry, and at one point, asked what she did wrong. Morgana couldn’t answer her question. Couldn’t even hint mildly at the answer. She felt like a coward, and she was one.

While the silence was safe, the distance that followed felt precarious.

Time in which used to be spent with Morgana, laughing and talking, was now spent with Merlin. Was there something going on between them? Several glimpses of them talking and laughing made Morgana burn in ways in which she had never felt before. They play in her mind, juxtaposed over could-be images of them happy together.

Thoughts of them together came up every time she had a moment to think. It was maddening and she just wanted to ask Gwen, but couldn't.

The distance was felt the most the fourth day when at dinner Gwen asked if she wanted more wine. Her eyes didn’t dance as they usually did. There was no warmth.

Had their relationship fallen so much?

“Yes please,” Morgana said and gripped her goblet as Gwen poured her wine. As Gwen left, certainty found her for the first time. While everything could go wrong if she told Gwen the truth, silence could only go wrong. Gwen was more important than the possibility of rejection. Morgana might hurt a while, but continuing in silence wouldn’t help any. Certainty didn’t make the anxiety festering in her gut go away completely, but at least she wasn’t going to be helplessly silent anymore.

Tonight, she and Gwen would talk.

* * *

“Did you want to talk to me?” Gwen asked, arms wrapped around herself, face neutral. How much had she hurt Gwen in her silence?

Despite the urge to fidget, Morgana was able to stay still and relatively composed. “Yes.” Morgana swallowed thickly. “I uh, wanted to talk about why I’ve been acting so out of character.”

Gwen nodded, urging Morgana to go on.

“I’ve been acting so weird because,” Morgana took a deep breath, “Because I love you and don’t want our relationship to end because of that.”

Gwen uncrossed her arms, eyes widening. “You love me?”

“Yes. And I love you more than friends should love each other.” There - she had said it. Despite the urge to close her eyes and turn away, she stayed still.

“Do you really love me in that way?” There was something in Gwen’s voice that sounded hopeful. Dare she…?

“I do. I love you so much it hurts to think about. I couldn’t speak to you because every time I would, you would smile and it did something to me. I’m sor - “

Before she could finish her sentence, Gwen pulled her into a hug. “I love you too.”

It didn’t register with Morgana for a moment. She was stunned, awed. Gwen loved her? It shouldn’t be a question, but it was. After everything, Gwen loved her back? Unbelievable in every aspect of the word. While she had hoped, she didn’t expect this.

Morgana returned her hug, disbelief turning to excitement. “I never thought that you could or would.”

Gwen tightened the hug. “Me either. I-I thought you hated me. I thought that you knew, and you didn’t want to talk because of that.”

Morgana pulled back from the hug to look Gwen in her eyes, “I could never hate you. Never.”

With a slight smile, Gwen studied her as if trying to see if she was telling the truth. When she seemed satisfied, she pecked Morgana’s lips. “I believe you.”

In that moment, all she wanted to do was hold and kiss Gwen until the heat in her belly made both of them melt into a pile of goo. But before Morgana could do anything, Gwen said, “I promised I’d be somewhere, but I’ll be back soon I promise." A wave of disappointment hit Morgana, but it didn't stop her excitement. There was a later. This wasn't a dream.

"When is soon?"

"How about tonight?"

"I'll be here." There was so much she wanted to say, to do. But instead, Morgana leaned in for a kiss. It was short and sweet and the perfect amount of everything. Morgana pressed their bodies closer right before Gwen separated them.

"I must go, but I will kiss you again when I return. I promise." Gwen kissed Morgana's cheek before leaving. The door clicked shut and Morgana sunk to the ground, mind reeling from everything that had just happened.

There was a future. A later. Gwen had said that she loved her as well, and Morgana had been able to confirm that Gwen's lips are as sweet as they looked. Could this day get any better?

Despite the impossibility of it all, the day does get better.


End file.
